Everything we've been through in life has formed the person we are today. That includes our beliefs, our way of thinking etc... Because of that we attract certain people into our life with certain energies. I know a lot of women who attract the same type of man that they don't want into their life and can't understand why. Do you wonder why every relationship you end up in always end up abusive in some form whether it's physical. sexual, or emotional?
The same principle applies no matter what your situation is. We need to get to the root of the issue. The root is that you are the problem. You have a part in attracting these people into your life and for being attracted to that person.
Dysfunctional people attract dysfunctional people, and healthy people attract healthy people.
You can just feel it when someone is full of love and also when someone has a "dark" energy to them as well. Some people can just walk into a room and either light it up or turn out the lights...lol You can feel the whole mood change.
Well this is how it works.....let's take codependents for example.
It is part of their makeup to need someone to fix, to repair, to make better. They are rescuers. What do rescuers need? Exactly. A person to rescue. And what kind of people needs rescuing? Responsible people? No! Responsible people take care of themselves. The kind of people who need rescuing are those who are not taking responsibility and ownership of their own lives and are a mess.
So, codependent people will always have irresponsible people or addicts in their lives until they realize that their codependency is what makes those relationships exist and necessitates their having problem people in their lives.
Likewise, on the other side of the equation, if people are not taking responsibility for themselves, what kind of people do they need? Rescuers. Someone to take care of them. The find each other. In some sort of unconscious way, the have the ability to find each other.
Let me give you one more example. If someone is really controlling and does not respect another person's boundaries, what kind of person is he or she going to be looking for? What kind of person "fits" with a controller? Answer: Someone who will allow that behavior. It's a perfect match. It all feels so natural. So they are drawn to each other like magnets.
This has nothing to do with if you are a christian or not. This is who you've become from your childhood until now. And if you are attracting what you don't want, figure out what it is about you that keeps attracting it, and make the necessary adjustments to attract what you do want.
Other examples:
- The selfish one and the selfless one
- The perfectionist will attract the guilty people pleaser
- The detached one attracts the one who is afraid of real intimacy
- The emotionally unavailable person ends up with the one who has been abandoned all her life
- The one with low-self esteem ends up with the critical one
-The self-centered one and the giver
- The overly "good girl" and the "bad boy"
Listen Ladies:
You might want a good God fearing man that is smart and educated, but it's a possibility that you aren't attracting that type of man and are attracting the opposite! Why you ask? BECAUSE deep down inside you might really feel and inch tall around him. It's a possibility that being around a real man threatens you! It's a possibility that you feel in control with the scumbags. BUT with this REAL Man, you feel out of control and intimidated by him even though he is exactly the kind of man you want.
Now do you see how you end up with what you don't really want? You attract what you really believe on the inside! You don't attract what you really want because you don't really believe in your heart you'll get it, even if you say it with your mouth.
Once again, you attract what you don't want because that's all you believe you can get.
You don't attract what you want because deep down inside you don't really believe you'll get it. It doesn't matter what your mouth says, it matters what does your faith says!
The tip is this: stop playing their game. Stop playing the game that works with their dysfunction, and you will stop attracting them. Let honesty, responsibility, love, faithfulness, and commitment be your game, and the only kind of people who will come knocking on your door will be people of like character.
Stop doing things that attract what you don't want. Plain and simple.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Letting Go
Hey Everyone,
I guess I can start it off by saying that this Letting Go process hasn't been the easiest for me. But I wanna share my story and what I'm letting go of at this time in my life.
I'm letting go of the spirit of fear period. Fear of bad news, fear of the unknown........stuff like that. Sometimes when I get a phone call and someone on the other line says "Guess What?" I automatically get nervous and think it's something bad. Fear works all the way round but that's one example of how fear effects me. I know I have to apply the word in that area constantly.
I'm letting go of mistrust. I don't trust a lot of people. It stems from past hurts and broken relationships. I've been molested more than once and I've been betrayed by close friends so a lot of times it interferes with my relationships because I have a guard up where you can only go so far.....That's not good because God puts people in your life for a reason. But avoidance and putting up that guard with certain people can hinder how God blesses you through these people. Don't get me wrong you can't trust everybody and open up your heart to everybody. But you can hinder your blessing through the people God sends into your life when you don't allow them to do what they were put in your life to do.
I'm also letting go of procrastination. I procrastinate a lot and that keeps me from getting things done when I desire. The plan God has for my life and what it takes to get there does not include putting things off over and over again. It takes consistency, hard work, and sacrifice. So I have to let go of that "just enough to get by" mentality.This is a process for me and some days are easier than others. God continually shows me what I need to work on. It doesn't feel good and the flesh wants to rise up when God puts a mirror in front of you and shows you that you're mean or you're insecure or you're lazy and all these things are holding you back from what and where you could be.
So this is my story and these are a few things that are a part of my letting go process. I hope that this can help you in some kind of way. That's why this LETTING GO MOVEMENT means so much to me. I'd love to hear your story too. Remember you'll, we're letting go together.
Sincerely,
Shei Atkins
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